Icarus On The Streets, Daedalus In The Sheets

by Signposted Disaster

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Please download it for free if you want! I honestly don't care!

A collection of short songs about failing miserably to attract women, being a bit of a tool, and Tinder.

Recorded in Ric's Current Room, Lancaster.

Except track 5, recorded in Ric's Old Room, Weir.

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released April 23, 2014

Ric Cowley: Guitar, Vocals, Tambourine, Synth, Thumb Piano, Recording, Mixing, Editing, Looking Damn Fine

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Signposted Disaster Manchester, UK

A fool with a guitar that no one has had the good sense to tear away from him.

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Track Name: Hans Geiger's Prize Liger
Check my watch, it’s 8pm
Grab my guitar from my room
As I walk out I glance through the window
And that’s when I see you

Sat alone in the quiet section
The cutest girl I’ve ever seen
You catch my eye as you look up
I swear I can see you grin

I’ve got some time to kill
You look like you’ll be working late
Our eyes keep meeting but not for long
So it’s time to captivate

There’s only one thing I know how to do
It’s my one shot to impress you
So I kneel on the floor like I’m going to pray
Pick up my guitar and I start to play

And I play every song I know
And I hope that you won’t go
Cos you look wonderful, I wanna know your name
And I hope you’re looking at me and thinking the same

I’m halfway through my second song
When I realise something key
I’m putting all this effort in
But you can’t actually hear me

A pair of headphones are placed on your head
Now I’m kinda wishing I was dead
And my friends come by, they’re ready to go out
So I play harder and I scream and shout

Through every song I know
Desperately hoping you won’t go
Cos you look wonderful, I wanna know your name
And I hope you’re looking at me and thinking the same

I finally finish my set
But I’m not giving up just yet
I’m seriously running out of time
And in my desperation I start to mime

I make gestures of drinks at the bar
Take five minutes off, it’s not that far
But you smile politely and turn back to your work
And I’m just stood here like a berk
Track Name: Dessert Nation Meat Fling
Well I learned to play guitar so I could pick up chicks
But I wrote too many songs about sex and now everyone thinks I’m a dick

So I tried to be myself instead but that was a bad plan
Cos I hadn’t realised what a broken messed up guy I am

Then I heard of a service where people only judge you on a pic
And I figured that might help me find someone pretty quick

But as I went to get the greatest dating app there’s ever been
I found myself confronted with endless error screens

Yeah even Tinder doesn’t want me
Yeah even Tinder doesn’t want me
Yeah even Tinder doesn’t want me
Cos I’ve only got an iPhone 3
GS
Track Name: Oscar, Mike And Mustard
Objectives updated
Grab my coat
Throw the rest of the drink
Down my throat

This isn't an epic quest
To save the world
But tonight I'm the hero
And I'm gonna get the girl

Travel fast to the club
Recover in the queue
Hope I'm a high enough level
To face anyone there with you

Like what if there's an enemy
That I've not encountered before
My strength won't be high enough
And he'll beat me down to the floor

Saying
Game over, thanks for playing
You failed, but you tried your best
Better luck next time my friend
You just weren't ready for this quest

But I solve the bouncer's puzzle
Like Layton, with no hassle
But my objective's being changed
Cos this princess is in another castle

I chat to some NPCs
To see what information I can get
They give me potions to heal myself
And tell me not to give up yet

So I recover my stamina
And set forth once more
Finally find you out there
But I should've saved before the door

Cos I blabber about fate
And love and my goal
Cos you smile sadly and say
I'm not the droid you're looking for

Well
Game over, thanks for playing
You failed, but you tried your best
Better luck next time my friend
You just weren't ready for this quest
Track Name: Smart Casual Relationship
There’s a party in my pants and everyone’s invited
We’ve got some drinks for you
There’s plenty of vodka here
And I found a case of beer

There’s a party in my pants and everyone’s invited
I bought some Doritos and some dip
If it ends up on the floor
I don’t care; I’ll just get more

There’s a party in my pants and everyone’s invited
Just don’t bring any of your weird friends
Especially not herpes
Cos that guy never leaves

There’s a party in my pants and everyone’s invited
But no one’s RSVP’d just yet
Well if everyone says no
I can party on my own
Track Name: Not All Mentos
I’m a male rights activist
I make sure everybody knows
How awful it is to be a straight guy today
It gives me so many woes

Women seem to think that all men
Are exactly the same
So it’s tough to be a nice guy
These days

I see so many things on the Internet
About men being so very bad
Women just don’t know my pain
They don’t know the troubles I’ve had

So I grab my fedora to keep my head warm
And a trenchcoat for the style
Start typing out responses
Grab some Mountain Dew, we’ll be here for a while

You see, not all men pressure women
Into having some perfect look
Like I’d never tell my girlfriend
That she needs to shave her bush

So how come it’s ok for women
To tell men how to be?
You can imagine how pissed off I get
When they tell me to shave my goatee

And just cos I like My Little Pony
Doesn’t make me a creep
That show’s got a lot of depth to it
It’s way better than something like Veep

Society keeps bringing me down
Because of my genitals
Let’s smash the matriarchy
And try to reverse these roles
Track Name: Another Day At The Orifice
I swiped left and so did you, so we should get a coffee

How boring, what a way to take the fun out of meeting people

Maybe I should not rely on technology to help me

Maybe I should write a song about it and hope someone loves me

And hope someone loves me